On a Serious Note...

I am a recovering addict.

For 18 years I was a drug addict. Most of you don't know that and had no idea. Or maybe you did.

I was "missing in action" for about 2 years - I was in treatment. I am good now. I have a lot to tell. If you want to know...

I will tell more in the next few posts...although I dwell more now on the positive than on the negative.

I have a new purpose.

I'm not trying to glorify my past. Instead I hope to help another.

If you want to know where I've been just ask me.

Adult Humor

Little John attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, John asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.John, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."

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Two friends meet in the office of one of them, a notorious techo-geek. "Hey, bud, how are ya?" "I'm good. Congratulations, that new secretary of yours is beautiful!" "Well, I'm glad you like her. Believe it or not, she's a robot! "No way, how could that be?" "Way! She's the latest model from Japan. Lemme tell you how she works. If you squeeze her left tit, she takes dictation. If you squeeze her right tit, she types a letter. And that's not all, she can have sex, too!" "Holy shit! You're kidding, right?" "No, she's something, huh? Tell you what, you can even borrow her" So, his friend takes her into the restroom and is in there with her for a while. Suddenly, he hears him screaming "Eeeeyaaaaa! Heeelp" Ooooooh! Aaaaaaah! Eeeeeeeeeeeaaargghhhh!"
The guy says, "Shit! I forgot to tell him her ass is a pencil sharpener!"

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A man wanted a hundred dollar bill tatooed to his penis. So he goes to a Tattoo Shop and makes the request. The Tattoo designer tells him that it would cost him $1000.00 to do the special bizarre request. The guy thinks for a while and decides that its a fair price. The designer starts the tattoo-ing and in the middle of the job asks the man, "Why are you doing this?" The man replies, "That's personal." With that, the designer continues to do the tattoo. The designer is stillIntrigued by such a bizarre request, so he tells the customer, "I'll waive the $1000.00 if you tell me why you are doing this." The man thinks again and replies, "Okay, that's reasonable." The man continues, "There are three reasons, first I like to play with money, second I like to watch money grow, and third and the most important, if my wife wants to blow a hundred, well, she can do it right at home."

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A waitress walking to a table in a restaurant sees 4 foreign businessmen, furiously jerking off. She takes their orders and before walking back she asks the businessmen: "gentlemen, may I ask you, why are you so frantically jerking off? "The businessmen reply: "menu says: first come first served”

A Safe Word Game

I found a really cool word game - you use the letters they give you to make words. I'm addicted to it!

Just click on Donald Duck - he'll take you there!

LOL

Of all the Colors of a Rainbow - I'm BLUE!

You Are Blue

You believe the key to living a good life is simple. Be as honest with yourself and others as possible. You value the truth over everything else. You will remain loyal to those who are honest with you, even if their honesty hurts. Compared to most people, you handle the truth well. You take every event in stride. You are the calm spot in a sea of chaos. You think the solution to most problems is open communication. You wish that people would be more real with each other.

What Color of the Rainbow Are You?

I just love these quizzes sometimes - this one is again dead on! This is really & truly how I feel!

(Except the part about taking stuff in stride, etc. - I'm not always the calmest fish in the sea! LOL)

Just the other day, I was "lecturing" my kid on how important loyalty - unconditional loyalty is! Hmmmmm???? Weird coincidence today! (And blue is my favorite color too!)

You've GOT to try these quizzes I put on Geni's Gab! You might be surprised and have a little fun at the same time! You never know until you try!

How to Stay Young

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them'

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down..

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Who was St. Valentine?

"St. Valentine was a Christian martyr of the 3rd century, during the Roman persecutions. He was condemned to death because his love of God would not allow him to compromise with the pagan deities.

While imprisoned, he healed his jailer's daughter, Julia, of blindness. On the eve of his execution, he wrote Julia a note telling her to stay close to God's love. he signed it "from your Valentine."

He was killed on February 14, 270.

In 496, Pope Gelasius set his feast day for February 14th.

In celebration of his witness of love, messages of affection and love are exchanged around the world."

"Jolly Jokes"

Thanks to my dear friend, Janice, for these:

More Funny-as-Hell Holiday Cartoons

Special thanks to nobleworkscards.com for these hilarious cartoons!