Friday, July 18, 2008

Got a couple of New Funnies for ya!


A pirate walked into a bar, the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I am fine now."

"Well, ok, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?'

"We were in another battle, I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I am fine, really."

"So, what about that eye patch?"

"Oh, one day, we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over, I looked up, and one of the pooped in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye from some bird poop."

"It was my first day with the hook."

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The Warped Library of Books for Kids
  • Strangers Have the Best Candy
  • Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
  • The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
  • Dad's New Wife Timothy
  • Pop! Goes the Hamster....and Other Great Microwave Games
  • Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Only Your Household Pets
  • Babar Meets the Taxidermist
  • Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
  • The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables"
  • Start a Real-Estate Empire with the Change from Your Mom's Purse
  • Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
  • The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and Are Shot Dead
  • Controlling the Playground: Respect through Fear
  • When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer, They Say God Did It
  • Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
  • What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?
  • Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?


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