Haven't stupid people ever heard the expression
'Think before you Speak?!' or 'Look before you leap'
- "I don't think we got any of that, but we got Skoal." -- A grocery store clerk, after being asked where the oregano would be.
- "When I press on my brakes, the car doesn't stop. Do you think this is something I should have fixed?" -- Asked of a worker at an auto repair shop.
- "If you record silence on a tape and then play it back with the volume all the way up, will that drown out the noise in the room?" -- Asked by a woman of her boyfriend at the time.
- "How do I tell the difference between the big staples and the little staples?" -- Asked of a fellow office worker in South Africa.
- "Do you want specific information in general or what?" -- From an overheard conversation between two managers.
- "Glenn Miller? Didn't he die in a car crash flying to France?"
- "Isn't it funny how Thanksgiving lands on a Thursday every year?" -- Woman, overheard in a diner.
- "Be Kind -- Please Rewind." -- A label on a DVD disc at a rental.
- "These are not my figures I'm quoting. They're from someone who knows what he's talking about." -- A congressman, during a debate.
- "Outside consultants sought for test of gas chamber." - Ad in Arizona Republic
- "Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound." - Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm
- "FOR RENT: CONDOM... ONLY US$650." - Ad in Jakarta Post, should have read Condo
- "I didn't know Onward Christian Soldiers was a Christian song." - Aggie Pate, at a non-denominational mayor's breakfast, Fort Worth, Texas
- "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." - Alan Minter, Boxer