Wednesday, January 23, 2008

How do you expect me to choose?

Which is worse...
  • Getting poked in the forehead for eternity or having someone step on the backs of your shoes
  • Having your heels rammed with a shopping cart or having to use a shopping cart with 3 good wheels and 1 crooked one
  • Having to talk like Mike Tyson for the rest of your life or having to fight him
  • A stack of hot pancakes & no syrup or a fresh bowl of your favorite cereal and only buttermilk.
  • A roach stuck in your toothbrush or a grass snake inside your pillowcase
  • Wiping your butt with sandpaper or blowing your nose with dirty underwear (NOT yours)
  • On a long flight, the guy next to you is snoring or the baby next to you is crying
  • Having diarrhea during your wedding or having gas in a court hearing
  • Doing the boys’ dormitory’s laundry or having to clean their bathrooms
  • Having to eat a cooked rat or having to catch it and cook it
  • Having to stay in a “popular” Port-a-potty for 24 hours straight or having to retrieve a $50,000 diamond bracelet from the bottom of it
  • Taking a cross-country road trip with Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell or having to take a bubble bath with Oprah Winfrey and Mr. T
  • Having to eat chocolate covered ants or having to eat yogurt covered worms
  • Shooting a firecracker into a tank at the local Hess station or dropping a ton of cow manure from a helicopter over the Super Bowl game
  • Your child getting his/her head stuck in a staircase railing or getting his/her head stuck in burglar bars?
  • Having to listen to “Hound Dog” by Elvis Presley continuously for 1 week or having to listen to “Ice, ice, baby” by Vanilla Ice continuously for 1 week?
  • Your 2 yr old little girl sprayed by a skunk or your 2 yr old little boy completely covered in pig manure?

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