Thursday, December 6, 2007

This is why I quit drinking!

I had 18 bottles of whiskey in my basement and my wife insisted I empty them down the sink or else…After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and proceeded with the unpleasant task.

I withdrew the cork from the 1st bottle and poured it down the sink, all except for one glass which I drank.

Then I withdrew the cork from the 2nd and did likewise with it with the exception of 1 glass which I drank.

I then withdrew the 3rd cork and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.

I pulled the cork from the 4th bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass which I drank.

I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next one and drank the sink and threw the rest down the glass.

I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle.

Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink, and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with 1 hand and counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were 29 and as the houses came by, I counted them again, and finally had all the houses in 1 bottle which I drank.

I’m not under the alfluence of incohol as some tinkle may peep I am.

I’m not half as thunk as you might drink.

I fool so feelish I don’t know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.

But, I’m not drunk, you shilly sit!

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