Tuesday, July 31, 2007

What a weird way to do "it"...


ANIMALS' WEIRD MATING PRACTICES


The drones that fertilize the queen honey bees have the worst job! Their genitals explode and their penises snap off in the queen when she's done.


Bonobos (similar to chimpanzees) practice oral sex, tongue kissing, mutual masturbation, face-to-face sex, and regularly have sex with their guests as a way to welcome or greet them.


Like many snakes, the male red-sided garter snake has two penises, on opposite sides. When they are in their usual "group sex" situation, the male garter snake uses the one closest to the female and maneuvers through the crowd to try to mate.


Female hyenas have a "pseudopenis" which is really an enlarged clitoris that they can erect at will. It's pretty difficult for the male hyena to get "up in there," but it's nothing compared to the female having to give birth through her "penis."


A male giraffe has to "nudge" the female in her rump in order to make her urinate. He will then "taste-test" it to see if she's "ripe and ready." If so, he will stalk her relentlessly until she gives in.


Male dolphins are so horny that they will hump inanimate objects and even other sea animals, such as sea turtles. If a pack of male dolphins run across a female, often they will "gangbang" her with great force.


Pandas in captivity have to watch "Panda porn" to become interested in having sex.


Snails' genitals are on their necks, right behind their eye-stalks.


Male bedbugs somewhat viciously stab the female bedbug with their knife-like penis and deposit their sperm in that manner.


Female porcupines are only interested in sex for 8 to 12 hours per year. Once the process has begun, the male will drench the female in his urine. If she likes it, she will force him to mate over and over until she is thoroughly satisfied. If he can't consistently comply, she will dump him and quickly find another mate, usually waiting nearby.


BONUS: All whiptail lizards are female; regarding the sexual reproduction process, they are lesbian. They "hump" one another to stimulate the production of eggs. The female will lay the eggs and when they hatch, they will be female clones.

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